Nothing to see here. Move along.

Well, here's a unique addition to the food clone wars - cloned pigs bred especially to be calm, stupid and honored to end up on your plate:

The professor said it might become technically possible to produce "animal vegetables" - beasts which are "highly prolific and oblivious to their physical and mental status".

Uhm...it's called "basic cable" and it's been done.

Anyway, I'm still not altogether certain that actually makes killing them for food any better. Sorta like going from indiscriminate mass murder to just selectively murdering the retarded.

Although it does give the term "slow roasted pork" a whole new meaning.

Just so you know, school-aged children are walking bio-hazards.

And one of them has offloaded some sort of brain-eating gray goo into my lymph system, where it has proceeded to tunnel its way into my cranium, reproduce wildly, devour the gray matter therein and crap the resulting excrement into my sinus cavities, which are releasing the overflow in alarming quantities.

On top of that, as the mass of brain-eating nano-crud grows, it's apparently taking up more room in my skull then my brain did. Explosive catastrophic decompression is no doubt imminent.

Some thanks I get for trying to haul their sorry asses out of academic and physical poverty and into the brightly shining light of a new day dawning. Ingrates.

*snork*

*hooornck*

gahhhhh...

"It is often said that before you die your life passes before your eyes. It is in fact true. It's called living." – Terry Pratchett

"My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened." – Montaigne

"How many observe Christ's birthday! How few, his precepts! O! 'tis easier to keep holidays than commandments." - Benjamin Franklin

Well, pooh. One of my favorite comics, Foxtrot (it of the geekish humor) is going  to be appearing Sunday's only, as cartoonist Bill Amend has decided to cut back on work and enjoy the fruits of his labor. (Fine, be that way. See if I care.)

Which really sucks, because I can't afford a subscription to the paper. We get ours from the next door neighbor, who sticks it on our porch when she's done with it. Only her oldest son often takes the Sunday edition home with him. So now I gotta remember to go online to get my fix.

Yeah, that and an hundred other things I gotta remember to do.

*sigh*

This page of images showing ideals of beauty through the ages has a head-snapping slap on modern ideals at the end - comparing today's fashion model iconography with a photo taken of a Nazi holocaust victim. The resemblance is both uncanny and disturbing.

Thanks, but I'll take my growing-ever-more-Rubenesque figure anyday. (Hubby has taken to calling me "Cello" in the boudoir, in admiration of my more classical figure. How damned sweet is that?!?!?!)

Coincidentally...mmmm...are those brownies I smell cooking in the kitchen? Hubs has been baking again!

Cloning is getting a lot of press these days. First it was stem cell cloning from people wannabes on their way to the delete folder. Then it was the argument over whether it would be legal to clone organs, or for that matter whole humans (sans brains and other vital "peoply" bits). And now it's all about cloned meat.

So now the breach has been jumped into by the FDA and it's officially legal to clone animals for food. Which simply encourages my sick little mind to combine two recent cloning arguments to come up with the following ethical humdinger:

Assuming human cloning (say, for organs) ever becomes legal, would it be legal to eat the "leftovers?"

I mean, at the near, more realistic end, we're talking personalized liver pate and at the far, fairly sci-fi end, we're talking brainless meat-puppets. But in either case, they're not people. Never were, never would be. They're just a spare-parts bag with a handy white-meat carrying case. And yet...it's still human flesh.

Sort of.

And does it make any difference if it's your own clone? I mean, there's nothing illegal about lopping off your own arm and popping it on the barbie for a quick sear. Unsettling, definitely, and probably grounds for a sudden techtonic shift in the structure of the familial power of attorney arrangements. But not illegal. So would eating the leftover nibbles from your own clone, or maybe even setting up a meat farm based on your own DNA, be any different?

(Suddenly, I'm seeing a huge market for choice custom bits bred from celebrity samples - fresh, tender loin of AnJolie, anyone?)

Hey, I'm not saying I would. But I'm not saying I wouldn't either, just for the sheer wtf factor. But you gotta admit, it makes for a fine late-night, after-dinner-and-a-few-bottles-of-wine discussion with your wackiest friends. Not to mention being a serious legal game of ethical twister.

So, how was your holiday?

To be honest, mostly I've just been either laying around reading or sitting in front of the computer catching up on some backlogged maintenance work that needed to be done - updating hubby's website (didn't get to mine), re-establishing some business and personal connections, updating my online networking profiles and so forth.

Christmas saw us dining in splendor at a local Indian place we both love. Great meal, great company, and peaceful quiet at home. Perfect. Thom got me a cozy pair of Polar Fleece split-toe socks (the kind you wear with flip-flops) to keep my toes toasty in the cold and a box of truffles from the Chocolate Fetish boutique, as well as a board game called Pente that we used to love to play as teenagers over at a friend's house. We always promised ourselves we'd get our own set, but never got around to it. Now we have it and I've been trouncing him steadily ever since. I got him a subscription to the Fine Woodworking magazine he's been going on about for a while, a book on basic metal working and a lovely milk chocolate/hazelnut bar from the local Fair Trade emporium. We also each got a gift card from my Dad (mine at Barnes and Nobles, his at Home Depot) and Mom sent us some lovely saucers she found at a yard sale that are just perfect (we're were short on saucers and use them continually.) The cats (ours and the neighborhood strays) shared a can of tuna in oil, which they enjoyed highly.

As for New Years, we had considered spending our New Years Eve at a local pub where they have some great live music, but around 5pm or so we both just sort of looked at each other and came to the mutual conclusion that neither of us wanted to ring in the New Year in a crowded, smoky, ear-drum-shattering crush of sweaty people. So we went to the movies. Casino Royale, to be specific. Much more enjoyable. Nothing like ringing in the New Year with a big screen full of eye candy of all varieties - hot guys, hot chicks, hot cars, hot clothes, hot locations and hot action. Yummy! By the time we got out of the theater, the nasty cold rain had stopped, leaving behind clean, mist-shrouded atmosphere that was warmer than it had been all day. And, since it was almost 12:45 when we hit the road, all the drunks were either settled in for the rest of the night at their party spot of choice or already arrived at home, so our drive home was clear and peaceful. Sweet.

Today we went to the zoo mall to make fun of the monkeys do some people watching and get some exercise. We had previously attempted to go for a walk in the park, but despite the inviting sun the wind was simply wretchedly, bitingly cold, so we decided to hoof it indoors. We got a chance to stretch our legs  and fondle the clothes, then went out for an absolutely wonderful dinner at a local place we both love, but simply can't afford to eat at very often. Because of a recent policy change in our auto insurance, we didn't have to pay this month's premium (even got 13-odd dollars back), so we decided to spurge on a "quality of life insurance" dinner. Worth every penny (and really, when you consider that it's one of those places that serves large plates and as a result we both have enough leftovers for a not-insubstantial dinner tomorrow, the price is actually pretty reasonable. Mmmm...leftovers...).

Alas, now it's all drawing to a close. It's been a very enjoyable vacation. Gotta be getting back to work tomorrow, but for now I still have a few, brief hours of freedom to do as I please before hitting the sack early, in anticipation of resuming my regularly scheduled 6:30am zombie-walk into the working world. Ah, freedom. How fleeting are thy days.

Hi ho, hi ho...

Since it seems to be the thing to do, I figured I'd share my New Years resolutions here as a way of saying, "Yes, I am culturally aware and participative, thank you very much."

I'm not generally big on resolutions, mainly because they tend to be the same sort of prayerful promises of better behavior in the future in exchange for leniency in the present that one makes to oneself when one is puking one's guts out after a late-night binge or when one's car breaks down in a seedy neighborhood at 3am. And they are just as often fulfilled.

That being said, I have found an ideal resolution making process that both maximizes follow-through while minimizing stress - make resolutions you actually look forward to keeping. So every year, I make a few well-chosen resolutions that reflect things I actually want to do and that will improve my quality of life along the same trajectory that it's already heading. And voila - resolutions that don't end up getting swept into the circular file along with the busted plastic champagne glasses and dusty confetti a few days later.

And now, for the unveiling of the 2007 Resolutions

[drumroll]

1. Eat out more. Hubs and I loves us the nosh - the higher quality, the better. So this year I resolve to eat out more, at higher-quality restaurants.

2. Spend more time discovering and enjoying all the cool things to do in our new hometown. Asheville is jam-packed with great clubs, cool sights, wonderful natural beauty, things to do, places to see and people to meet. So, 2007 is now officially dedicated as the Year of  the Ashtravaganza.

3. Ramp up my writing work in order to make enough money to pay for all of this galavanting around. Heh...throw me into the briar patch, why don't you. If there's anything I like more than turning squatpiles of crappy verbiage into soaring odes to grammatical lyricism, it's cashing the checks people send me to do it. Not everyone's cup of tea, of course, but as for me, I'll take seconds.

So there you have it: Write more, earn more, do more, eat more. It's all part of my master plan to take over the world improve the quality of my life to its fullest in a humble attempt to graciously accept and appreciate the amazing gift of life I've been given.

Happy New Year, everybody!

Spent the day enjoying ourselves. Had to get out of the house for two appointments, so we figured we might as well make a day of it. And what a gorgeous day it was, too - sunny and probably near 60 if not over it. Chilly in the shade, but absolutely splendid in the sun.

I started the day with a noon appt under the care of a local coiffeuse, who sliced and diced my overgrown Ringo do back into its more tamed and trim pixie cut. I was way overdo for a cut, but I hate finding a new hairdresser because the texture of my hair requires cutting with a razor rather than with scissors in order not to look like I got mugged by a Flowbee, and good razoristas are hard to find. Luckily, the local budget chop-shop just happens to have such a treasure, and so noon thirty found me back at home showering off the remnants of my winter fur down the drain and luxuriating in the light and airy feel of a freshly shorn head.

I always feel so much better after I get my hair cut. Even the migraine I've been tiptoeing around all day can't put a crimp in my joy at no longer having to continually push my bangs out of my eyes. Thom likes it too. He usually spends the week after my haircuts running his hands over the short bits, like petting a cat. :-D

Next on the list was a trip to the doctor's office for my 6 month checkup and prescription renewal for my heart meds (no big thing, just a pesky murmur that slips from a sedate waltz into a jerky cha-cha when I drink too much caffeine - annoying, but harmless). Nicely enough, I discovered that the health department pharmacy charges a third what it costs me at the drugstore for my prescription, so I'm all ship-shape and ready to go for the next half-year on that.

Since we had to be downtown anyway, hubs and I decided to walk around downtown a bit and have a recon lunch at the Jack of the Wood pub where we were thinking about spending New Year's Eve, to check on the food options. Survey says - we have a winnah! He had the "pub burger" with grilled onions, mushrooms and blue cheese, which he proclaimed to be damn near perfect.

And I, after 15+ years of fasting, finally found a vegetarian Rueben that seemed worth trying - and I was not disappointed. They have a tempeh Rueben that is divine, with just enough crisp, salty saurkraut to season the tempeh, all cheesy-melty between two slices of real, quality rye bread. Mmmmmmm...washed down with a Hornsby's hard cider, it was quite a wonderful meal.

For afters, we walked around town a bit, browsed the local craft goods store and stopped by the Chocolate Fetish (voted best in America by the LA Times, no less) for dessert. He had a puddle of white chocolate that had been poured over freeze-dried berries and I had two pieces of dark-chocolate covered buttercrunch.

And of course, all the time we're out we're stopping occasionally to oggle the mountain views and give each other verbal high-fives for making the decision to move here.

We wrapped up with a leisurely walk back to the truck then a quick stop on the way home at Home Depot, where Thom spent some of his Christmas gift card money to pick up a nice tall Dracaena marginata for our living room. Actually, there are four of them in the pot, kinda like in the picture at the link above, so it looks really nice. Thom really likes playing around with plants, so he's looking forward to working with this one.

And now, here I am, safe at home with a steaming hot cup of spiced cider, winding down the day. It's good to be me. :-D